May 22, 2013


The crosswalks around here have a button that you press and immediately these yellow lights start blinking to let drivers know, "Hey asshole, slow down I'm trying to cross the street." Usually when you hit this button, you pause to make sure that oncoming traffic stops, and  you make eye contact with the driver and give a little wave to say "Thanks for not running me over and possibly killing me." You then go on way your way and this social interaction is over. The other day however, that did not happen. I'm driving home, and I see a guy walking down the side walk, is he going to try to cross the street? I can't tell, usually when you cross the street you check over your shoulder to see if there is a car coming. This guy did not do that. What did he do? He hit the button and walked across. He didn't stop to see if there was a car coming, he didn't wave, he didn't even look up. He just hit the button and decided to put his well being in the hands of a complete stranger. He has no idea what my mental state is. I could have been on my phone tweeting to my 16 followers about how I feel like chipotle has  been going down hill or taking a selfie for instagram. But he didn't even look up. I could have just broken up with my girlfriend and been a rage and just said fuck it. Who does this guy think he is? I'm going to fucking run him over because I'm mentally unstable and I learned how to drive by playing grand theft auto, and I'm pretty sure this would only get me one star. Or maybe I'm just fucking crazy and this asshole is what sets me off into a murderous rampage. The cops would come and ask why I didn't stop and all I'd be able to say is "well he didn't fucking look up or wave."

Related note, if you don't press the button at all and you get hit it's your own fault. If you can't take the second to press the button you deserve to become roadkill and I shouldn't be responsible.

As always you can find me on Twitter @DeRexBowles where you can stay up to date with all my ramblings and tell me how much I suck.

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The Mind of Derek Bowles