Sep 29, 2009

How to spot a ghost

Want to see a ghost? Well, this how to guide will ensure that you spot one! Just follow these easy steps and get ready for a ghostly encounter. *warning, results may vary. Not everyone will see a ghost.

Step 1:

Buy a really expensive camera, but do not learn how to use any of the settings. Trust me, ghosts avoid good photographers. Also recommended, but not required is a digital audio recorder.

Step 2:

Go into a really dusty area, and start stomping, and kicking things. It makes the ghosts mad. Take pictures while doing this.

Step 3:

Now is a good time to turn on your DAR. Ghosts talk at a frequency that humans can't hear, but the DAR can. So start asking questions. Here are some sample questions to help the process,

"Is anyone here?"
"Can you move an object?"
"Can you touch me?"

Alright, I think you get the jist of things.

Step 5:

Over react to everything. Do you hear something tapping the window? Well, by golly you need to jump up and scream. BUT DO NOT GO TOWARDS THE NOISE! I repeat DO NOT GO TOWARDS THE NOISE. Ghosts are very perceptive and know when some one is coming. So just stay where you are and scream. See a shadow down the hall? Don't try to figure out what is causing it, run!

Step 6:

Ok, step six is the step where you catch your breath, and let your vocal cords rest. You have been running and screaming all night so you need this.

Step 7:

This is a tricky step, in this step you need to include the first 2 through 5. So walk around taking pictures, asking questions, and over reacting to everything. Now here is the tricky part. You must, must, must, start saying "What was that?" over and over even if you are by yourself. "What was that?" is like a mating call for the ghosts, and they will be unable to resist you if you say it.

Now it's time to review your evidence, and I have some pictures that will help decide if it is in fact a ghost.

As you can see, there are a lot of ghosts out there. And by following my guide you too can see some!
The Mind of Derek Bowles