Sep 29, 2009

How to spot a ghost

Want to see a ghost? Well, this how to guide will ensure that you spot one! Just follow these easy steps and get ready for a ghostly encounter. *warning, results may vary. Not everyone will see a ghost.

Step 1:

Buy a really expensive camera, but do not learn how to use any of the settings. Trust me, ghosts avoid good photographers. Also recommended, but not required is a digital audio recorder.

Step 2:

Go into a really dusty area, and start stomping, and kicking things. It makes the ghosts mad. Take pictures while doing this.

Step 3:

Now is a good time to turn on your DAR. Ghosts talk at a frequency that humans can't hear, but the DAR can. So start asking questions. Here are some sample questions to help the process,

"Is anyone here?"
"Can you move an object?"
"Can you touch me?"

Alright, I think you get the jist of things.

Step 5:

Over react to everything. Do you hear something tapping the window? Well, by golly you need to jump up and scream. BUT DO NOT GO TOWARDS THE NOISE! I repeat DO NOT GO TOWARDS THE NOISE. Ghosts are very perceptive and know when some one is coming. So just stay where you are and scream. See a shadow down the hall? Don't try to figure out what is causing it, run!

Step 6:

Ok, step six is the step where you catch your breath, and let your vocal cords rest. You have been running and screaming all night so you need this.

Step 7:

This is a tricky step, in this step you need to include the first 2 through 5. So walk around taking pictures, asking questions, and over reacting to everything. Now here is the tricky part. You must, must, must, start saying "What was that?" over and over even if you are by yourself. "What was that?" is like a mating call for the ghosts, and they will be unable to resist you if you say it.

Now it's time to review your evidence, and I have some pictures that will help decide if it is in fact a ghost.

As you can see, there are a lot of ghosts out there. And by following my guide you too can see some!


Kate Fate said...

Stop it. You are freaking me out!

What was that? Did you see it? If feels like someone

TJ Lubrano said...

I really had the movie Blair Witch Project in mind...even though that was set was scary in some ways. Especially the end, where that dude is standing in the corner :|. That is the only part I find creepy now.

You know, I actually do have a couple of pictures with these little circles. But I didn't ran around, screaming, stomping, moving around dust or asked 'what is that?'...

Derek Bowles said...

Kate- No can do! But I'm glad you are practicing!

TJ- Never saw Blair Witch. But Paranormal Activity looks pretty good.
Those aren't ghosts then. It's just dust

GetTheShovel said...

ROTFLMMFAO!!! You're kiiiilling me. I can't stop laughing. You made me spill my beer. Oh wait, that's piss. I just loved the build up. I completely lost it on the second picture. omg omg omg You rock, dude. omg omg omg

Miss Suzie said...

Haha! Someone's been watching too much Paranormal Society (or whatever that A&E show is). Loved it!

Derek Bowles said...

GetTheShovel- Thanks

Miss Suzie- Ghost hunters actually. :D

jennifer said...

Just smoke alot of pot trust me you will see ghosts.

Derek Bowles said...

Jennifer- Oh sweet, my very first web model, commenter! Or that's what it looks like anyways.

Tonia said...

Just in time for Halloween

Derek Bowles said...

Tonia- Good point, ghosts are very active around Halloween

Sorcerer said...

I thought that was tough and use all the Ouija boards and learn to write alphabets etc..
So this is how..the discovery channel made the series the Hauning

Lana Gramlich said...

I love your disclaimer. ;)

Isis said...

Sweetaaass...that was funny.

nothingprofound said...

Some things have to believed to be seen. The naked eye is too honest, so one needs a camera.

The Mind of Derek Bowles