Jul 26, 2009

How to spot a ....

Construction worker.

In this post I will lay out some sure fire ways to spot a construction worker.

1) If there is a tape measure present, a construction worker will pick it up, and begin to talk with it. He will measure air, at various distances, and look very professional measuring nothing. The longer the tape becomes, the more emphasis he is showing. However the shorter it is, the less confident he becomes.

2) They cus. It doesn't matter at what, or when. You need examples, I know, so here are some.
- "Good fucking morning"
- "What the fuck is this mother fucking bullshit, fucking doing here? Fucking dumbasss. I can't believe this bullshit."
- "I'm so fucking happy this fucking day is fucking over."
-"This is bullshit!"
*fuck is the choice word.

3) When a woman walks by he immediately says something like "hey there hot momma".

4) Hates his job.

5) Is more than likely a complete idiot. (foremen and supervisors excluded).

With these 5 signs you too will know how to spot a construction worker.


Cooking Asshole said...

You should write a post called "how to spot a crappy blog"

Derek Bowles said...

CA- That'd be easy. I'd just have to link it to yours.

David said...

Were the dusty boots too easy?

TJ said...

Don't they also walk around bare chested or have it wrapped around somewhere and start lifting heaving things when a lady walks by? *Look at me..I'm strong, powerful and I have a fat stomach....*. Oh this is also accompanied by an idiotic grin and a whistle

Miss Suzie said...

Hmm. This sounds like most of the men I see on a daily. They can't all be in construction, can they?

ImageLuv Funny said...

Maybe it is all the hours of working under the hot sun, that is why their hormones are raging.

Derek Bowles said...

David- Not all our boots are dusty.

TJ- We can't do that anymore, too many lawsuits.

Suzie- You need to find a new grocery store.

ImageLuvFunny- Good point, however, we also work inside. I think it's just the fact that there are a lot dudes, and no chicks. So we go primal when we smell a women.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Number 6: Smells vaguely of sweaty submarine sandwich. I know, technically not a way to "spot" a construction worker, but it IS a way to identify one.

Tornado_strikes said...

Hmnn I would have thought the swearing would include some thing like these lines....

*I will hammer your fucking head.
*You concrete arsehole.
*Baby my Iron Rod is fucking hot. And stuff like that.

JonathanAquino said...

How do you spot a blogger?

aspotofblog said...

I just thought I'd fucking leave a fucking comment for the fucking sake of it.

Derek Bowles said...

Chris- Good point, but some times they smell like mexican food.

Tornado- We're not that creative I'm afraid.

Jonathon- I don't know how?

aspotofblog- you're too kind.

The Mind of Derek Bowles