Mr. Yam spent the next 40 minutes trying to disprove, and rationalize that what he just saw had to have been a bad acid trip (he is a musician you know).
"This can't be real, ghosts don't exist." he explained to himself.
Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz.
"WHAT THE HELL!!!!" he screamed. "Oh, it's just a text message."
Mr. Yam, took his phone and read the message.
LOLZ! ghsts r real! Look bhnd u! LOLZ!
"Look behind me..." Mr. Yam began to turn around. "What in the, Ahhhhhhh!!!!!"
"Like, dude, why are you freaking out?" the ghost said with an attitude.
"*sigh* Seriously, like grow up. Didn't you get my text?"
"Ahhhhhhhhheeey. You are kind of hot." Mr. Yam said as he noticed the spirit was a 23 year old, busty blond, slightly translucent.
"Like, let's just get this over with. I am the Ghost of Turkeys Past." she said impatiently.
"What? Turkeys Past?"
"Helloooooo, that is what I just said. Try to like follow along."
"Uhh, you know that you are naked... right?" Mr. Yam said nervously.
"What? Have you never seen a woman's body before?"
"Well yeah, but uhh, not one with such, uhh, ummm..."
"Well are you going to just stare at them all day? Or can I continue?"
"Oh uh, sure. Contitue. I mean, yes, go on."
"Ok." The spirit grabs Mr. Yams hands, and places them upon her breasts. "Hold on." Mr. Yam gladly obliges.
The spirit and Mr. Yam were suddenly outside, standing in front of a small farm.
"I recognize this place. This is where I was raised! Mom and Pa's turkey farm!" Mr. Yam exclaimed.
"Wow, what a dump." the spirit laughed.
"Hey! This is my childhood home you are talking about!" Mr. yam said in anger.
" Hey this is my childhood home you are talking about!" the spirit mocked. "It's still a dump."
"Look, there's mom! Mooooooommmm!!!!"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! OVER HERE IT'S ME!!!"
"She can't hear..."
"MOOMM, MOOOMM, MOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!"
"For the love of..."
"IT'S ME YOUR SON!!! TIBERIUS!!!!!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!" the spirit yelled.
"What? She's right there!" Tiberius protested.
"Yes, but we are not among the living. Think of this like a movie."
"So she can't hear me?"
The two walked around the farm, and for some reason Tiberius still thought that people could hear him. They walked to a small red barn.
"Do you know what this is?" the spirit asked.
"Yes, this is the barn, where we kept the turkeys."
"Do you know why we are here?"
"Isn't that why you are here?"
They go through the door, and what the spirit see's makes her scream.
"What is wrong with you!!!!"
"What are you doing to that turkey!!!"
"......" Tiberius is becoming noticeably embarrassed.
"Ok, this is just sick. We are leaving." She grabs his hands, and once again they vanish. They reappear in Tiberius' room.
"I can explain! I was young! I loved that turkey!" Tiberius frantically spouted out.
"I'm like leaving. You are a pervy old man."
And then she was gone. Tiberius sat on his bed, and looked at the clock. "One thirty four. This is going to be a long night."