Jun 15, 2013

The (Real) Hunger Games

Everyone knows that the homeless people menace has become a problem. You can't go anywhere without some one asking for food. If you are like me, you have no conscious and struggle on a daily basis with thoughts of just running them over. Well, I found the solution and it will do two things for you. One, it will make people think you care about the homeless. Secondly you will still be able to display your hatred for the homeless. Here's what you do.

1)Buy a jar of peanut butter.
2)Give the jar of peanut butter to a homeless person.
3)Make sure there are no beverages for the homeless person.
Now you might be thinking to yourself, "Wow, that's fucked up." to which I will respond with "I know, it's great isn't it?"
5) Wait

This is when the games begin. How hungry is the homeless person? Hungry enough to eat peanut butter with no drink? How much will they eat before realizing it's impossible to eat a lot of peanut butter without something to drink. I don't know about you but I can eat two spoonfuls before I have to take a drink. And I don't mean two tiny little girly spoon fulls, I mean two man sized peanut butter falling off the spoon, peanut butter mountain spoonfuls. So the homeless person has a big decision to make. Either eat the peanut butter, not eat the peanut butter, or stab you with a dull rusty knife. Let the games begin!

Want to tell me how fucked up I am? Come at me (on twitter @DeRexBowles) bro! And remember, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it all. Or post it in the comments below.

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The Mind of Derek Bowles